Should you be confused by all of the marital advice floating around online and during talk shows today, you are not alone. It appears as though most people are an expert. Some well-known marriage therapists have been married (and divorced!) 2-3 times or maybe more. With this sort of reputation, it seems as though they might know very well what doesn’t work but haven’t quite discovered simply what does work. With the other extreme, you’ve got pros who give marriage advice but they haven’t been married themselves.
While there is no not enough “experts” giving out marital advice, I like to visit the real experts: couples who are married happily for decades. Whenever I see a silver-haired couple who still take a look at one another like newlyweds, I wonder exactly what is the key to their success? After doing a bit of research, the following is a little gem for marriage from longtime couples…
Failure is just not an alternative. Couples in successful marriages are without a doubt devoted to their union. They take very seriously their marriage vows and do not entertain thoughts that perhaps they’d be happier elsewhere. Divorce isn’t an integral part of their vocabulary. And when you realize that you might be with someone for better or worse, ’til death can you part, you then become much more severe about cultivating a harmonious household atmosphere.
Common Spirituality. Most successful couples share a standard spiritual background or value system. The words, “The family that prays together, stays together,” holds true within a marriage also. Christian marriage counseling often stresses the need for attending worship services together to aid mend broken marriages. This sort of not inclined to believe in a higher power, developing a shared goal or passion can also unite one or two.
Mutual Respect. You don’t have to go along with your spouse on a regular basis, however it is important to respect their opinion. One answer to a lasting marriage is accepting and understanding your differences. Which means never dismissing your spouse’s feelings or concerns, even though they appear silly for your requirements.
Ongoing Intimacy. Even older couples agree that intimacy inside a marriage is important. And unlike other marital advice that would have you do calisthenics inside the bedroom, real couples say that there is absolutely no reason to reinvent the wheel. The concept that marital intimacy must be constantly new and exciting is overrated. What’s important is each spouse takes the time to fulfill the other’s needs. Understanding that means taking your affection out of your bedroom too – physical contact such as non-sexual hugs, kisses and caresses help spouses keep a bond during the day.
One Marriage, Two different people. Perhaps one piece of marital suggest that might surprise younger couples is that a pleasant marriage does not involve 2 different people being joined with the hip constantly. While romance should beware of the trap to become “married singles” in places you both lead separate lives, it’s also wise to avoid co-dependency. Older couples not only share activities and hobbies, they also nurture their individual passions too. Sometimes, the top marital advice for the way to avoid wasting a marriage is to recognize that you are each folks who need your individual breathing space. Suffocating your partner by demanding their full attention 24/7 can readily turn a happy marriage right into a nightmare situation.
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