One of the biggest secrets we strive to keep is a sense of independence and dignity. The idea or sensation that you are crucial in some distinct way, that you are cherished by a particular person, that someone is giving you unique attention, these are some of the ego’s very nuanced secrets. We are attempting to hide our Sacred Self and are partaking in all these diverse games, which look to be very upsetting. It is quite depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we attempt to get scraps of unique love, attention and acclaim to prop ourselves up.
We toil so hard at turning into “improved people”, at obtaining greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be appreciated more and be more popular. The entire self-help sector is focused on improving the self so you can grow into a better you. That is another gimmick we secretly engage on ourselves, thinking we have to keep rotating our wheels trying to grow into better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very soothing when you start to grasp that you do not have to become any better than you presently are. You were formed perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find peace but through self-acceptance.
As I engaged with A Course in Miracles, I could observe that there was a dread of divine love in my mind. I recognized this was the ego’s fear of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being uncovered and being seen as a puff of nothingness. That is the fear of intimacy. We speak about this fear in relationships, which is sometimes projected as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a terror of dropping our persona, our mask of uniqueness. It is the fear of getting swept away by a glorious love, a love so intense that none of us can even envision something as splendid and powerful!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great awareness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something wrong, whether you’ve masturbated, swiped something, mistreated an individual, or there is something in your mind that you have deemed as so hideous that you don’t even want to face it, you just want to forget about it and push it out of notice.
Underneath all those recollections and thoughts, is the belief that we are parted. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an impossible belief, but we think that it is true; We have deemed it as terrible and have pushed it out of consciousness. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in separation. And as you really offer yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally encounter this hidden belief in division!
Please, share any thoughts and comments with me below, I’d love to hear about your journey!
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